I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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