I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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