Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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