so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
