thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
