I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
