hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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