my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
