is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
