What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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