My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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