you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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