Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
