yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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