Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
