TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
