i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
