yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
