She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
