I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
