i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize