I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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