Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dicks are not precious.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
