we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
