Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
