yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize