I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
