Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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