Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
