I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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