haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
