you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
