We need to rekindle our bromance
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
