If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
