stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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