I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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