oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
