I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
