I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
