talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
