Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize