i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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