What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
