so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
