i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
