He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
