I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
