Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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