we made out on top of his cat.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
