Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
