I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
