I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Randomize
