u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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