I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
