if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
