BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
