She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
