i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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