You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
