It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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