I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
did i walk over a car last night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
