My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize