i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You pole danced in your parka.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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