remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize