it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
