You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
