haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
