I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
