I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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