just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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