So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
