U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
