idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
